Here’s how to get the best out of the church for your wedding:
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Getting Married (In Detail)
We would love you to have your wedding at St Mary's - helping you along in your happiest times is one of the things we are here for.
However, arranging a wedding can be a fairly fraught business at the best of
times. There are a lot of different people to get synchronised and that can be a
problem.
The church is one area where things can get tangled. The problem is not so much
the church building itself as the availability of clergy to officiate at the
wedding. These days clergy are very, very thin on the ground. However, they do
understand the problems of getting it all together, probably better than anyone
else. So if you want a largely trouble free way of arranging a wedding, here’s
what to do:
Decide on the general time you want to get married. E.g. "as soon as possible",
"in about three months time", "next year", "sometime next summer", "as close as
possible to July 23rd". You get the idea. You’ll probably have some idea of the
venue you want for your reception and what you want to do for a honeymoon. If
you wish, get information about the general availability of those things, but
don’t be bullied into making even a provisional booking at this stage.
Check with the Rector what is available in that sort of time frame. He will
be happy to give you a number of options and to pencil in particular dates. More
importantly he will be able to tell you what is not available. Many clergy, like
other people, are tied to school holidays for their own breaks. Most have other
things to do on Saturdays apart from weddings and all year round there are
festivals and open days which can limit the availability of both buildings and
clergy. So you can see the importance of being a bit flexible at this stage. A
complication that we have to cope with is that churches and clergy find it very
difficult to be booked up more than a year ahead – in fact the further in the
future, the more difficult – but reception venues often want to be arranged much
further ahead than that. We do have to struggle with this problem and it takes a
bit of understanding on both sides to sort it out.
Once you have a provisional date or dates for the church and clergy you can
try to firm up reception and honeymoon. If this proves a problem you at least
have an idea of other possible dates as far as church is concerned and the
clergy won’t mind in the slightest if you come back and want to shift date or
time to one of the other possibilities.
The crucial thing not to do is to book up reception and honeymoon and then
expect church to fit in with that. That can rarely be done.
So, if you want to get married at St Mary's, get in touch with the Rector
first. Asking someone you know like the Church Secretary or one of the Wardens
will only slow things down because they have to pass the contact on to the
Rector, If the first phone contact doesn’t work very quickly, write a letter!
Email is not a very sure way of communicating in this case.
The Revd Bob Emm, The Rectory, Church Lane, North Thoresby, Grimsby, DN36 5QG
Telephone: 01472 840029
FAQs
- Who can be married at St Mary's?
Provided you are single and have a
"Qualifying Connection" you can be married at St Mary's.
- What is the legal procedure if we meet the above criteria?
In such circumstances your marriage would normally be by reading the banns.
That means your names must be read out in the church on three Sundays before
the wedding, and this legal requirement is knows as publishing the banns of
marriage.
In addition when one or both of you reside outside the boundaries of this
parish your banns of marriage must be published in (both) the parish
church(es) where you and your fianceé(e) reside.
- Are there other means of qualifying for marriage at St Mary's?
If it is not possible for you to meet these qualifications for a marriage by
banns, there are circumstances in which other forms of qualification can be
considered. Please speak to the Rector to find out more.
- How much does a wedding at St Mary's cost?
For every wedding that takes place in a Church of England church, a
statutory fee is payable. In addition there is a fixed amount payable to
the Organist and should you require them, the Bell Ringers. Details of the
current charges for a wedding can be obtained from the Rector or the church
officers. At present a wedding costs between £270 and £450 according to what
you want.
- What is the position if one or both of us is divorced?
The church upholds the view that marriage is for life but it also recognises
that marriages do break down. Consequently, if a person has been divorced
and their previous spouse is still alive, we can generally help, but you
need to talk to the Rector.
- Do I have to be married on a Saturday?
No. Traditionally most people are married on a Saturday, but marriages
may legally take place at any time between the hours of 8am and 6pm. Days
other than Saturdays are always easier to fit in.
Weddings at St Mary's (in a Nutshell)
We would love you to have your wedding at St Mary's.
- Decide on the general time you want to get married.
- Check with the Rector what is available in that sort of time frame
- Once you have a provisional date or dates for the church and clergy you
can try to firm up reception and honeymoon.
- The crucial thing not to do is to book up reception and honeymoon and
then expect church to fit in with that. That can rarely be done.
- So, if you want to get married at St Mary's, get in touch with the
Rector first. If the first phone contact doesn’t work very quickly, write a
letter! Email is not a very sure way of communicating in this case.
The Revd Bob Emm, The Rectory, Church Lane, North Thoresby, Grimsby, DN36
5QG
Telephone: 01472 840029
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